Lead with Spark | Authentic Leadership for Women, Executive Presence & Career Confidence

At the Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat, Lynsey sat down on the patio for lunch with two other women, and all three of them had taken all three colors of potatoes. When she asked why, the answers were curiosity, should, and "I didn't want to hurt their feelings." Cue the belly laughs.
In this episode, Lynsey unpacks what those three potato answers reveal about how you make decisions every day at work, at home and in your friendships. You'll learn the difference between a should that guides you and one that drains you, why kindness is sometimes fear in disguise, and the simple Potato Check that helps you choose on purpose instead of on autopilot.
Together we will talk about
The patio lunch and the three answers that turned into a leadership lesson
Why curiosity is one of the most underrated leadership skills, and what happens when it goes quiet
How to tell whether a should is wisdom or weight, with one question: whose should is it?
When protecting everyone else's feelings is really fear of disappointing someone
Lynsey's own shoulds, from corporate America to the PTO committee
The Potato Check: a simple question to ask before you put anything else on your plate
One line to take with you
"So when you say yes to everybody else's feelings, make sure you're not quietly saying no to your own."
This week's challenge
Do the Potato Check this week. The next time you say yes to something, pause and ask, "Why am I choosing this?" If curiosity answers, keep going. If a should answers, ask, "Whose should is this?" If it's about someone's feelings, ask, "Is that mine to carry right now?" Then laugh at yourself a little and choose on purpose.
Connect with Lynsey
Ready to stop carrying everybody else's plate and start choosing what goes on yours? Book a free discovery session at lynseymulder.com
Know someone who would absolutely try all three potatoes? Send her this episode.
Follow Lynsey on:
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
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This is the conversation Lynsey wishes she had had 20 years ago, before her body started yelling and she refused to listen.
Hannah O'Donovan spent over a decade as an event producer, putting on concerts for major artists and running a multi-six-figure business, until extreme burnout and daily anxiety forced her to shut it all down. Today she is a nervous system specialist and the founder of Untamed Divine Feminine, helping women build success that actually feels good in their bodies. Together, Lynsey and Hannah talk about the alarm bells your body sends before burnout hits, why slowing down feels so uncomfortable for high achievers, and how to know whether your next pivot is moving you toward something or just running away.
Together we will talk about:
The alarm bells the body sends before burnout, from a tight chest and digestive changes to hair loss and anxieties dialed way up
Why the basic stuff (going to the bathroom when you need to, eating, three deep breaths) feels far away when you have only ever been praised for output
How the nervous system works: fight or flight versus rest and digest, and what happens when you get stuck in survival mode for months or years
Why slowing down can trigger anxiety, so you clean the garage instead of reading the book, and how that cycle keeps you over-functioning
How to tell a healthy pivot from avoidance in disguise, because your habits and your nervous system follow you into the next job, city, or relationship
What the untamed divine feminine really means (not passive or soft, but wild, intuitive, able to receive, and in touch with sacred anger) and why naming your emotions accurately changes everything
One line to take with you:
"Your nervous system does not necessarily do what is best for you. It does what is familiar, because that is what feels safe."
This week's challenge:
For one week, practice the basics Hannah started with. Go to the bathroom when you need to, eat when you are hungry, and pause for three deep breaths whenever you feel activated at your desk. Then start naming your emotions accurately: not "that is funny" or a snappy comment, but the real feeling underneath.
Connect with Hannah O'Donovan:
Grab Hannah's free gift, The Return Journey, five short audio activations for reconnecting with yourself: https://somasoma.podia.com/thereturnjourney
Learn about her work in nervous system regulation and somatic channeling through Untamed Divine Feminine: https://www.somasoma.ca/
Connect with Lynsey:
Website: LynseyMulder.com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
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Your reviews are glowing. Your dashboard is green. Your boss thinks you are crushing it. And underneath all of that, you feel like you are slowly disappearing.
That isn't burnout. It's quiet cracking, and almost everything written about it is aimed at HR and employers. In this sequel to the Energy Ledger episode, Lynsey talks directly to the high performer whose numbers look fantastic while her sense of self gets a little smaller every quarter. She shares her own season when stretch became strain, and three ways to catch the crack before it becomes a break.
Together we will talk about
Why burnout is loud and quiet cracking is quiet, and why that makes it so easy to miss
How "cracking hides behind very good metrics"
Lynsey's own season of glowing reviews, running on fumes, and the family plans that quietly disappeared
The difference between stretch, which builds you, and strain, which never lets up
The signature of quiet cracking: shrinking initiative, emotional withdrawal, and going quiet in rooms where you used to speak up
The monthly gap check: are your results and your meaning moving in the same direction?
Installing circuit breakers before you need them, including the Ask the Experts exercise
One line to take with you
"Cracks are information. They're not failure. They show you exactly where the light needs to get in."
This week's challenge
Do your first gap check this week. Draw two columns, results and meaning, and put an arrow up or down on each. Then send one Ask the Experts text to one person: "Describe a time when you saw me at my best." Let yourself read the answer. And sit with this question: where are you still delivering, but no longer showing up as your real, authentic self?
Connect
Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat, October 15 to 18, CIVANA Wellness Resort and Spa, Carefree, Arizona. Application only, limited to 20 women. Apply or schedule a chat at audaciouslyunapologetic.com
Book a free discovery session with Lynsey at lynseymulder.com
Missed the episode this one builds on? Listen to E64, "Finish the Year Strong," on the energy ledger
Follow Lead with Spark on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Podbean, and share this episode with a friend whose results look great but who hasn't seemed like herself lately

A girls' trip to Florida, an $80 umbrella rental, and a $15 bargain umbrella that lasted about four seconds before the wind flipped it inside out. The funniest part wasn't the umbrella. It was what Lynsey and her friend did next: before they checked the damage, they checked the audience.
In this episode, Lynsey unpacks that instinct to scan the room before we let ourselves laugh, speak up, or try something new. She shares the research behind the spotlight effect, why comparing our inside to someone else's outside is never a fair fight, and three simple practices to help you stop performing for a crowd that mostly isn't even looking.
Together we will talk about
The $15 beach umbrella and the "meerkat scan" that came before the laughter
The spotlight effect, and the Cornell study that shows people notice us about half as much as we think
Why comparison turns into a competition the other person doesn't even know she's in
The difference between the crowd in your head and the handful of people whose opinions truly matter
Three practices: catch the scan, choose the giggle, and assume the same interior
How comparison can turn into compassion with one simple compliment
One line to take with you
"Most of the time, it's not actually broken. It's just an inside-out umbrella."
This week's challenge
Think of one thing you've been holding back on because of what someone might think: an idea at work, a class, that bright dress with the tags still on. Ask yourself who, specifically, you're worried about. If you can't put a name on it, notice that. Then this week, flip the canvas back and do the thing.
Connect with Lynsey
Craving a room where the highlight reels get set down at the door? The Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat is October 15 to 18 at CIVANA Wellness Resort & Spa in Carefree, Arizona. A small group, by application only. Apply or schedule a chat with Lynsey at audaciouslyunapologetic.com
Want to work on this one on one? Book a free discovery session at lynseymulder.com
Follow Lynsey on:
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
If this episode helped, share it with one woman who needs to hear it, and leave a review so more women can find the show

How to Stop Comparing Your Insides to Everyone Else's Highlight Reel
Have you ever looked around a room full of accomplished people and thought, "What am I doing here?" Last week at a conference in Tampa Bay, Lynsey did exactly that, and within ten minutes she had talked herself right out of her own résumé.
Then she walked up to one of the speakers, had a real conversation, and discovered that the woman she admired was carrying the very same worries. In this short solo episode, Lynsey shares what she realized on the walk away: you are comparing what you can see of someone else to what you can feel in yourself. That is apples and oranges, and it is never a fair fight.
If imposter syndrome has been whispering to you lately, this one is for you.
Together we will talk about
Why imposter syndrome shows up even after decades of experience, and what the whisper really sounds like (01:32)
The conversation that changed everything, and the realization behind "outside versus inside" (02:32)
How to catch the unfair comparison with one simple question (05:10)
Why pedestals do not survive proximity, and the question to ask someone you admire (05:56)
The day someone put Lynsey on a pedestal, and what she said back (06:47)
How to build your identity from the inside out, and why "developing my people" is never just a task on your list (07:41)
The quiet wins list: three a week, small, unposted, and yours (09:00)
One line to take with you
"Her outside was never meant to be measured against your inside."
This week's challenge
Ask yourself: "What is the one thing I did this week that nobody will ever post about, but it's exactly who I want to be?" A better mom, a better listener, a leader who built her team up, someone who showed up for her community. Write it down. That is quiet win number one. Then add two more before the week is over.
Connect
Craving a room where the highlight reels get set down at the door? The Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat is October 15 to 18 at CIVANA Wellness Resort & Spa in Carefree, Arizona. A small group, by application only. Apply or schedule a chat with Lynsey at audaciouslyunapologetic.com
Want to work on this one on one? Book a free discovery session at lynseymulder.com
Follow Lynsey on:
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
If this episode helped, share it with one woman who needs to hear it, and leave a review so more women can find the show

When a senior leader calls Betsy Kauffman and says, I have this person and they need help, they usually mean the person is broken. Betsy's whole career is built on a different premise: your people are not broken, your system is.
Betsy Kauffman is the founder and CEO of Cross Impact Coaching, a TED speaker with over 1.6 million views, and the author of The Fix. After 25 years leading large-scale technology transformations, she now helps leadership teams close the gap between strategy and execution. In this episode, she and Lynsey get into why misalignment quietly drains companies, how to have the honest conversations most of us avoid, and the four-tip framework from her TED Talk that works whether you are the CEO or an individual contributor.
Together we will talk about:
Why AI is the latest in a long line of technology waves, and why the human element matters more now, not less
The premise of The Fix: people are usually not broken, the system, processes, or how a team makes decisions is what is driving the behavior
The triggers of misalignment: no shared understanding of the top priority, no agreement on how decisions get made, and no safety to talk about the hard stuff
The hidden cost of a leadership team that is not aligned, from wasted resources to your best performers walking out the door
The four tips for honest conversations at work: confidence, intent, data, and a solution, plus the pro tip of saying it out loud first
Why alignment does not always equal agreement, and how to disagree and still commit to a united front
How to recover when you say the wrong thing: own it, go straight to the person, and do it quickly
One line to take with you:
"Alignment does not always equal agreement. You may not agree, but you get behind it, and that is what alignment is."
This week's challenge:
Before your next hard conversation, use Betsy's four tips: lead with the confidence to speak up, know your intent, bring the data or the why, and come with a solution. Then practice it out loud, in the car or the mirror, before you walk in. Your brain files it as evidence that you can do it.
Connect with Betsy Kauffman:
LinkedIn: @ BetsyKauffman https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsykauffman/
Website:https://crossimpact.co/media/
Free Leadership Alignment Survey:https://crossimpact.co/alignment/. 
Connect with Lynsey:
Website:com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
Follow Lead with Spark on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Podbean so you never miss an episode

I recently coached a client on boundaries, and about ten minutes into the conversation I knew it was something I needed to share with you too.
She told me she has such a hard time saying no that she gives everything away, and then feels hurt when someone does not choose her. Then she said the sharper version: I do not say no, I am always looking for how I can say yes. In this episode I walk through the reframe that changes that pattern, the three steps I gave her, and the quiet moment on the call when it finally clicked for her.
What you will learn
How to flip a boundary from a refusal into a decision you already made
Why your priorities lose to other people’s requests, and the one change that fixes it
The move one number rule that keeps a new boundary from collapsing in week two
How to write present tense statements your brain will actually accept
A thirty second tracking habit that proves you can already do the thing you think you cannot
Join the Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat
October 15 to 18, 2026, CIVANA Wellness Resort and Spa, Carefree, Arizona. A few select women, application only. Apply or schedule a chat at audaciouslyunapologetic.com
Connect with Lynsey
Website: lynseymulder.com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
If this episode landed, the kindest thing you can do is send it to one woman who says yes too fast

It is the end of August, which means sometime in the next two weeks you will open your calendar, look at what is left of the year, and feel one of two things. The sprint: grab every unfinished January goal and muscle to December 31st on caffeine and sheer personality. Or the quiet quit: eh, we will regroup in January, and coast through four months of your one precious life.
Both are traps. In this solo episode, Lynsey offers a third way. You do not have a time problem, you have an energy problem, and no planner has ever minted a 25th hour. She walks you through the energy ledger, a 10-minute audit of where your energy actually goes, and the year-end edit built on three lists: cut, park, and protect. Then she names the real reason we do not cut anything, and it is not discipline. It is fear.
Together we will talk about:
Why the year-end sprint and the quiet quit are both traps, and what the third way looks like
The reframe that changes everything: you do not have a time problem, you have an energy problem
The energy ledger, a 10-minute line-by-line audit of last week's calendar marked simply plus or minus
The year-end edit in three lists: cut the performative work and ghost goals, park the good-but-wrong-time ideas, and protect the two or three things that actually mattered
Why one protected thing must be your own renewal, because renewal is infrastructure, not indulgence
The hidden fears underneath a bloated calendar, and why they will quietly veto every boundary until you name them
One line to take with you:
"Renewal is not what you do after the important work. Renewal is what makes the important work possible. That is not indulgence, that is infrastructure."
This week's challenge:
Do the energy ledger, then make one cut and name one protect. Just one of each. Then tell someone about both, because a boundary spoken out loud is ten times stronger than one that only lives in your head.
The Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat:
October 15 to 18, 2026 at CIVANA Wellness Resort and Spa in Carefree, Arizona. Four days and three nights built around clarity, confidence, and connection: inner work to rebuild your foundation, the immunity map that x-rays what has really been in your way, a real action plan for your next chapter, plus sound baths, yoga, private dinners under the desert sky, and a burning ceremony. Co-facilitated by Lynsey Mulder and Paula Shannon. By application, intentionally capped.
Apply, or schedule a no-pressure chat with Lynsey first, at https://audaciouslyunapologetic.com/ 
Connect with Lynsey:
Website: LynseyMulder.com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
Follow Lead with Spark on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Podbean so you never miss an episode

You have been waiting on a memo. The one where your boss, the board, or some committee of very official people sits you down and says you are now allowed to lead your way. Trust your gut. Push back in the meeting. Run the team the way you actually want to. Signed, everyone.
Lovingly, here is the truth: that memo does not exist. It was never in the mail. In this solo episode, Lynsey names why so many accomplished women keep their real leadership in a drawer, waiting at a window where no one is working. She traces it back to a lifetime of permission-based success, counts what the waiting actually costs, and hands you three permission slips to write yourself this week. Because the vetting is done. The only approval still outstanding is yours.
Together we will talk about:
Why waiting for permission is training, not a character flaw, and where the game quietly changed on you mid-career
The four costs of waiting: the world gets a photocopy of you, your ideas go unclaimed, the people watching you learn to wait too, and the slow leak of burnout
The reframe: permission is not granted to leaders, it is taken, quietly and usually without an announcement
Why this is not about going rogue, and the difference between skipping accountability and bringing your actual self to the role you already earned
Three permission slips to write yourself: to lead in your own style, to speak before you are certain, and to invest in yourself without earning it first
The present-tense trick that helps your brain believe the slip is already true
One line to take with you:
"Permission is not granted to leaders. It is taken, quietly, confidently, and usually without an announcement."
This week's challenge:
Write one permission slip this week. Your way, out loud, in present tense, as if it is already true. Put it somewhere you will see it every morning and read it aloud, even if it feels a little silly. Your brain believes what it hears you say, especially in your own voice.
The Audaciously Unapologetic Retreat:
October 15 to 18, 2026 at CIVANA Wellness Resort and Spa in Carefree, Arizona. Four days and three nights for high-performing women, built around clarity, confidence, and connection: coaching that gets underneath your patterns, sound baths, yoga, meditation under the desert sky, private dinners, and a curated circle of women who become the personal board of directors you have been missing. Co-facilitated by Lynsey Mulder and Paula Shannon. By application, intentionally capped.
Apply, or schedule a no-pressure chat with Lynsey first, at https://audaciouslyunapologetic.com/ 
Connect with Lynsey:
Website: LynseyMulder.com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
Follow Lead with Spark on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Podbean so you never miss an episode

If you are carrying a lot, leading a lot, achieving a lot, and still wondering why you feel exhausted underneath all of it, this conversation is for you.
Dr. Alicia Newsome returns for Part 2 of our series, and this time we zoom out from the body to the whole picture: the beliefs running underneath your leadership, the exhaustion our culture quietly applauds, and her new book, Worthy of Rest. This is the honest, practical half of the conversation, the one about the story you have been telling yourself since you were eight years old and how it is still shaping the decisions you make in the boardroom.
Together we will talk about:
The Integrative Leadership Framework: body, business, and belief, and why all three have to move together
Why the eight-year-old version of you cannot be the one driving the car, and the pause-and-name practice that puts her safely in the back seat
Perfectionism, burnout, and worthiness are symptoms, not root causes; fourteen perfectionists in a room have fourteen different stories
The types of rest most of us have never heard of: sensory, emotional, spiritual, and physical, and why a nap is not always the answer
Alicia's practice of taking three full weeks off twice a year, what it reveals about your business, and Lynsey's vacation SOP that keeps 500 emails from piling up while she is gone
Building a team around your life: hiring for how people think, paid test projects, the human-in-the-loop AI standard, and the three things every hire should do for you
Why every yes is a no to something else, and how to give yourself permission to use a two-letter word
One line to take with you:
"We live in a culture that worships exhaustion."
This week's challenge:
Look at what you have said yes to this month. Find the one that was never a full yes, the one you hesitated on, and ask yourself what you said no to in order to make room for it. Then practice the two-letter sentence. No is a complete answer.
Connect with Dr. Alicia Newsome:
Grab her free gift for Lead with Spark listeners at www.draliciagifts.com
Learn about working with her, completely virtually, at www.dralicianewsome.com
Follow her on:
Instagram @ dr.alicianewsome
LinkedIn @ dr-alicia-newsome
YouTube @ dr.alicianewsome
Facebook @ dralicianewsome
Watch for her upcoming book, Worthy of Rest, which we dig into in Part 2
Connect with Lynsey:
Follow Lead with Spark on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Podbean so you do not miss Part 2 with Dr. Alicia next week, and leave a review if this one hit home
Ready to go deeper? Learn about the Audaciously Unapologetic retreat in Carefree, Arizona at audaciouslyunapologetic.com
Website: LynseyMulder.com
Facebook: @LynseySMulder
LinkedIn: @Lynsey-Mulder
Instagram: @LynseyMulder
Pinterest: @LynseyMulder
YouTube: @LynseyMulder
Start here: this is Part 2 of a two-part series. If you missed Part 1, go back for the conversation on hormones, chronic stress, and what your body has been trying to tell you.